Therapy Books I Regularly Recommend
These are the books I recommend most regularly to clients, friends, and family. They’re also the books I draw on most in my work and in my own life.
Set Boundaries, Find Peace – Nedra Glover Tawwab
Nedra Glover Tawwab is the therapist we all wish we were (okay, maybe that’s just me, but she really is fabulous). This is by far my most recommended book to clients and friends alike. It’s a clear, practical guide to understanding what boundaries are, why they matter, and how to actually set them - even when it feels awkward or risky.
One thing I really value is that at the end of every section, she bullet-points what setting boundaries might look like in that situation. If boundaries are new to you, or you’re trying to work out how they might look in your own life, this is incredibly helpful.
Tawwab covers everything from saying no without guilt, to dealing with people who push or ignore your limits, to protecting your time and energy. She gives scripts, examples, and the kind of straight-talking advice that makes you feel braver about speaking up. She also has a great Instagram, and I like her newsletter too.
Secure Love – Julie Menanno
I love this book because it demystifies attachment theory and shows clearly how it might be playing out in your relationship. Understanding your attachment style - and how it shows up - can be a game changer. Many of my clients have found this incredibly helpful.
Often we can be tempted to think that if only our partner was more X or more Y, or changed that one thing, then everything would be okay in our couple. Julie Menanno, an American couples therapist, flips the script, pointing out that most relationships have a negative cycle that both partners co-create - and that can be changed.
She encourages you to see the cycle as the enemy, not your partner, and to own your contribution to it. This book doesn't stop at theory: Menanno offers practical strategies to understand and own your behaviours, and to change them. It is clear, accessible, and full of insights you can apply not only to your romantic relationships, but also to friendships and even work dynamics.
If you enjoy her approach, check out her Instagram too - her little bird drawings on attachment are as insightful as they are adorable. Here’s her website.
The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read – Philippa Perry
Philippa Perry is well known for being an agony aunt and wearing fabulous glasses. But this book is well worth a read. In a direct, no-nonsense style, Perry helps us understand how our early experiences shape us, and why certain emotional and relational patterns still show up in adulthood.
It’s also useful for parents who want clear, thoughtful guidance on helpful approaches to emotional attunement, repair, and everyday parenting interactions. By the end, you really will wish your parents had read it.
Drama Free – Nedra Glover Tawwab
Nedra Glover Tawwab strikes again with this brilliant book on managing unhealthy family relationships. Sometimes the drama comes from the people we’re around right now. Sometimes it’s patterns or dynamics that have been there for years.
Tawwab helps you work out what’s fuelling the conflict in your family - whether that’s emotional neglect, addiction, absence, or something else - and gives you clear steps to protect your peace. What I like about her approach is that she gives practical examples of what managing the drama might look like, so you can move from theory to practice and actually make changes.
I update this list from time to time as I come across books I genuinely trust and recommend. Sign up to my mailing list if you’d like to receive occasional, non-spammy emails from me.